Hilarious Things Kids Say

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It’s no secret, kids have NO filter.

Like it or not, they say what’s on their mind. Throughout my years visiting elementary schools to give workshops, they’ve said many hilarious (and sometimes verging on offensive if you have no sense of humor) things to me.

Here are the 5 funniest questions my students have asked me this year:

  1. “So, as an author, do you make as much money as you would working at McDonald’s?”

It’s fascinating to see how students perceive authors! They know the J.K. Rowlings of the world make millions, but they also know this is not the norm. I was trying to explain the varying wages authors make but the thing is, we spend many days slaving away at the computer and don’t see a penny.

  1. “You’ve written 40 books? Yeah, but did you win any awards?”

I always talk about perseverance and share my journey to publication (which consisted of many years of relentless work and many, many rejection letters.) I always feel proud to tell students that I never gave up and have now published 40 books. But then of course there’s the smart-alec who asks me how many awards I’ve won (uh, none so far but one day!)

  1. “Are you famous? Or at least, do you know anyone famous?”

Once they see I’ve written 40 books but won no awards, they want to size me up and see how “famous” I am. I try to explain that fame is relative. But kids see it in black and white terms. If I actually knew someone famous (like had tea with Judy Blume or something, which by the way would be a dream!), that would make me cooler.

4. “Okay you write books, but do you know how to do the Floss?”

First of all, I was trying to figure out what this “dab” move was that all the students were doing. Once I finally understood what it was all about, one student recently said to me “Oh the dab? That’s so 2016. We do the floss now.” The floss is a dance move in which a person repeatedly swings their arms, with clenched fists, from the back of their body to the front, on each side. Confused? Check out this video (and ps I CANNOT do this move).

  1. “So how old are you anyway, like 100?”

Age is rather abstract for kids. They tend to see us adults as dinosaurs from another era. One actually thought I was a hundred years old! And when I tell them that in my time, we didn’t have cell phones or YouTube, they are flabbergasted. They all ask me, “What did you do with yourself?” Life was simpler back then, we just played in the park.

Looking forward to many more workshops in 2019!

Love & Light,

Lydia

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