I was amazed by the response we got for the slush pile pass contest with my publisher, Blue Whale Press. So many quality pitches rolled in, and Alayne went through every single one. The winners are posted below, along with a message from Alayne herself. Congrats to all! (Ps you should read them all to learn about strong pitches and get a sneak peek into the mind of an editor.)
Wow! What a response. We received so many fantastic pitches. Thank you all for joining in the fun.
Just like with the manuscripts that capture me as acquisitions editor, the first reason these pitches grabbed me is because they struck something in me personally. I mention this because I think it is so important to understand, as writers and illustrators, that the publishing business is subjective. When I say, “struck something in me personally” it might be something as simple as some sort of twinge that makes me feel connected to the story or idea. So, if I get a sense of, for example: curiosity, excitement, funny bone tickling or heartwarming tugs–I will dig deeper. Another reason a pitch might grab me on a personal level is simply my personal interests. But no matter how personal a pitch or manuscript feels to me, when I read on, if there isn’t something more compelling, it will be a pass. So, what does all this mean? It means a pitch has a huge job to do. And this means your manuscript/story has an enormous job to do. It must live up to your pitch! So when your pitch knocks it out of the park, make sure your manuscript can bring the story home 😉
This contest was a true challenge for me because all the pitches offered something. And the ones that ended up being contenders made it almost impossible to choose just one winner. But in the end, I found a clear winner. However, I found a close second, so I am offering a prize for second place. The second-place winner will receive free access to all of my webinars. https://alaynekaychristianauthor.com/webinars I will contact the winners after the holidays with information regarding how to claim your prizes.
I thought it might be helpful to all those who entered the contest to get an idea of why I chose the pitches I chose. So, below is a list of winners, strong contenders, and honorable mentions. Each pitch has a short blurb that explains why the pitch caught my interest.
Congratulations to the winners and to all who entered the contest. You are all winners because you are working to hone your craft. You can never go wrong doing that.
First Place goes to Carrie Karnes-Fannin (yay, you win the free pass with a guaranteed response)
SEEN: THROUGH THE LENS OF MARGARET BOURKE WHITE. (660 word NF PB) Camera-melting heat, dust storms, torpedoes—nothing kept Maggie from capturing a shot, her daring deeds breaking barriers for women as her photos taught us to see the world in a new light.
The title grabbed my attention on this one, but because I didn’t know who Margaret Bourke White is (or was), the real hook was the actual pitch. A picture is painted! Tension is built! A story is told! All in one little 32-word pitch. In addition, once I looked up Margaret Bourke White, I was even more intrigued.
Second place goes to Laurie Carmody (yay, you win free access to Alayne’s webinars)
When the GLOOP GAMES begin, slime molds from around the world blob together to face off in a series of challenges that test single-celled brain and brawn.
This title and simple 27-word pitch offered enough to entice me. It sounds like a great mix of fact and fiction all stirred in with action, possible humor, and fun!
Listed in no particular order.
Mila’s box of memory jars is missing! She must recapture her memories and make a few new ones for her new house to feel like home in MILA’S MEMORY JARS.
I like the idea of a missing memory jar. What a great story problem. And I’m curious how Mila will recapture her memories, but even more, I want to know about her new memories. This one appeals to me not only for the reasons above, but because I imagine it will tug at the heart.
After years of being angry about a particular wolf blowing down his house, a MAD LITTLE PIG decides to give the wolf a piece of his mind, but when the truth comes out the pig gets a whole new perspective.
This grabbed my attention because I imagine it might be funny. I’m also very curious about the truth and new perspective. It sounds like a creative spin! And the title is good, too.
Meet Daisy; a very lazy English Bulldog. Lazy Daisy (198 words) chronicles the life of a staunch and sturdy English Bulldog from pup to doggy afterlife, while managing the delicate topic of the passing of a loved family pet. Targeting children from age 2-8, Lazy Daisy warms the heart while pulling on the heartstrings of doggy lovers who too often have to say goodbye to fur babies before they are ready to.
This pitch had me at “pulling on the heartstrings.” I’m curious about how the author turns Daisy’s life into a story that will appeal to children. I imagine it might be an excellent segue to conversation and expressions of feelings or concerns about aging or ill pets, or even loved ones—as well as those who have passed.
ENOUGH- Somewhere between a little and a lot, there is Enough. You have to squint to see it past New and Better, but Enough is always there. Do you know it when you see it? Text is metaphor, proposed imagery is narrative.
This pitch makes me curious. The idea seems unique, and I would like to see what the author has done with the idea and metaphors. And I am curious about the proposed imagery. I believe it is different from most everything we have seen via submissions. I like the title as well.
Carolyn Bennet Fraiser
Ava loves to dance, but Grandma is busy. As Ava explores the old gray house, she discovers a closet full of color and the magic of her own imagination. THE COSTUME CLOSET includes back matter on the history of flowers in ballet.
I like the mix of story and the history of flowers in ballet. And I love the possibilities with a costume closet and the magic of a child’s imagination. I am curious! I also like the title.
MUSIC OF THE HEART- Oliver, deaf to the music his family makes, fears he’ll never fit in. When Oliver discovers a joyous piano player who nurtures his musical curiosity, Oliver wonders if he’ll learn to play the music he hears in his heart.
I want to know if Oliver learns to play the music he hears in his heart! And I want to know if he ever fits in. I want to know if he learns to play music, how? I imagine this will be a touching story.
Punkerella hopes for a Hip, Hop and Happening Ever when Fairy Gig-Mother turns her into a Rock Goddess but her musical dream is smashed to smithereens by the Screeching Stepsisters and she ends up singing the blues.
I love the play on words and the idea. I am curious about this story. I imagine it will be very funny and active, and it may even have a nice darkest-moment heart tug. And if Punkerella ends up singing the blues, I want to know how she turns it around. The title is good as well.
On a seemingly routine evening walk, a child unexpectedly befriends the moon, and invites her to tag along on the journey to her Dad’s house. Follow Me, Miss Moon is a 470 word story about a girl, the moon, and their playful adventure up, down, around and through town.
Having watched the moon follow me as both a child and an adult, this story grabbed me on a personal level because it made me feel something. But it also grabbed me on a creative level. I am curious about this (what I imagine to be) very special friendship and adventure. I also suspect it might inspire some wonderful illustrations.
These honeybees have an unprecedented and possibly impossible mission: to build honeycomb on the 1984 Space Shuttle Challenger in only seven days… all while relearning to fly in outer space.
This pitch intrigues me. I’m curious how the story is told. Is it from the bees’ perspective? What age group will it appeal to? Is there a protagonist? Or are all the bees the star of the story. I love the tension of “only seven days.” I feel like this may be a unique, informative, and hopefully fun story for kids.
Listed in no particular order.
Parker’s Piano Recital (480 words)- When a ringing cell phone derails Parker during his piano recital, he uses a tip from Mozart, a sparrow’s warble, and a bit of outside-the-box thinking to save his performance.
I’m curious about the “outside-the-box” thinking. And I’m curious about the sparrow’s warble. I’m curious about how this story is told.
Shopping with Grandma, a story for any child who has ever tried to take a grown-up shopping.
This pitch makes me curious with very few words—17 to be exact. However, I’d like a little taste of what makes this story really magical or unique. Why will it stand out? If it is a “How To” or an “If” book, maybe a few lines from the story. For example, “If you take a grown-up shopping (enter what comes next). I get that some pitch parties don’t give you room to do this. And I understand we need to keep our pitches short, but for a cover letter, just a little bit more might be what hooks.
OWL BLUES: Hooty the owl feels blue when he thinks about what he is missing during the day, but a feathered friend helps him learn to love his nocturnal roots.
This one sounds like a fiction story with facts built in, so it might be an interesting mix. The title also caught my eye.
The Stray Dog – All through the day Billy thinks he sees his dog, Buster, only to find Buster is actually nearby in each instance; so the next morning, Billy rises early the to catch the mystery creature and ends up being the one surprised.
I’m curious about the mystery creature and the approach the writer takes to present the mystery and the surprise. I feel the title might use some reconsideration, and I’m concerned it may giveaway the surprise ending. But then again, one never knows.
COUNTDOWN TO SPACE, a “faction” PB inspired by NASA’s commitment to put the first woman on the moon.
The idea of this story attracted me because of my interest in the space program, and because I am a woman. But it is not clear who will struggle in this story—the woman or NASA, or both? I feel like I need a little more info.
DINO WEEK! 385 wc- As the week goes on, Lizzy sees the city in a whole new Jurassic way, as cranes turn to apatosauruses, her pigtails turn to horns…. and is that a bald gentleman or a pachycephalasaurus reading the paper on the subway?
This seems like an illustrator’s dream and visual candy for children, not to mention expanding their imagination. My imagination is taking off just from reading the pitch. I’m curious if the author is able to make this great idea a purposeful story vs being an episodic story. I think given the excellent idea, it might be worthwhile to brainstorm a title that is just as powerful.
Quick to shell out kind words to others but slow to believe in himself, Boxford, an eastern box turtle, mistakenly befriends kindness rocks and discovers the encouragement he needs to take his tiny legs on a big adventure.
This pitch and idea make me curious, and sometimes that’s all it takes. The idea of a turtle accidentally befriending kindness rocks, makes me think this will be a touching and thought provoking story. And then I wonder about the big adventure and where it leads.
Sharon J Wilson
It is just after WW2 and some children in Berlin have never tasted candy. Enter The Chocolate Bomber from the USAF. Parachutes made from handkerchiefs float the airmen’s sweets ration into eager hands. I am in touch with Gail Halverson and he has checked my ms for accuracy. Nonfiction.
This is a pitch that struck me personally—the reason will be revealed in a moment. The only reason I couldn’t fully consider this pitch and ended up placing it under “honorable mention” is because I’m working on a story from the perspective of a German child recipient of the drops. I felt to read the manuscript would be a conflict of interest. My German-born-and-raised friend who says, “Hunger hurts” and can’t stand to see food wasted shared his story at Thanksgiving dinner last year. I was so touched by it. But back to the pitch. . . . I love that the author of this pitch has been in touch with the “Berlin Candy Bomber” himself and that he checked it for accuracy. You go! I may never get my story out there. But I believe this author will get hers out there. I encourage you, Sharon, to continue submitting and pitching this story.
Happy holidays to all!
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